kazatasupa

my boss would like me to start a major digitizing project with our special collections. this would mean a lot of equipment, training, and time. might be something i'd enjoy doing...

as it is now, i can't stop listening to with love

(mp3 download, not streamlined)

sometimes you just know when a new employee is going to try your patience... every single freaking moment of your entire immediate future of existence in this tiny little place called work.

:::deep breathing:::

i need a beer.

at work. not working...

well, i am working the circulation desk, but it is so impossibly slow that i'm actually passing gas without concern for the welfare of others (or my dignity).

i have many things i need to get done before i leave tomorrow afternoon (two weeks away from this pit - woo! woo woo!!) however, i can't get back to my desk to finish them. it is terribly difficult to work for a institution that is severly understaffed.

i guess i'll do those things tomorrow... in the meantime, passing gas to pass the time...

i closed last night for ryn, who was sick, and keep thinking that today is friday (i close thursdays). i've been excited all day long about the prospects of my two days off... and it's only tuesday!!!

damn it, damn it, son of a bitch.

Staying in Utah, getting a studio (or one bedroom apartment), living alone, continue working at the library, complete my degree in Integrated Studies (keeping Philosophy as a emphasis and use Music Theory as another. This would mean learning something entirely new and exciting. I will take guitar lessons and learn to play the saxophone), become completely anti-social and work... work... work.

I just feel like turning inward, tuning people out...

I'm also thinking about applying for a job at the coffee shop (they're hiring). I could only work part-time, but it would be valuable experience, as I do plan on owning a coffee house someday.

That's it. I'm not happy as things are now... and, if I don't change, if I don't change...

I'm just getting more depressed.

Strange day, today is...

No coffee in my system, today or yesterday. This morning I woke bright eyed and energetic - six times (snooze button). I didn't want to come into work... still don't want to be here, and can't imagine the day to bring much more. I want to be doing something else, but what? I'm not sure... but, I'll think about it.

I don't know what to do in my spare time. I'm not drinking coffee for the month (and the odds are...) and, so the coffee shop becomes less practical. I cleaned the toilet last night, did the dishes and watched some show on t.v. Jared asked me why I thought I could be such an asshole... I simply stated that I wasn't aware that I had been an asshole. Oh, well... I've been cranky from this stupid sore throat/fever thing, but an asshole? Ryn wasn't feeling well, so she didn't stop by after work and I tried to get some sleep... but, just laid there and a large portion of the night was spent tossing and turning.

Plans for the week:
Thursday night - Valentine Dinner
Friday Night - Rice/Eccles stadium for the Olympic's opening ceremony
Saturday Night - Claudine's play

Now, I've got to re-boot this computer, start scanning stuff and think about my future... think, think, think.

Sat here all day yesterday, scanning documents and dreaming... went home, sat on the couch for hours chatting with Jared... slept for three and 1/2 hours, now I'm back in this chair readying myself for the creation of more blasted .pdf files. My legs are going to quit working if I don't start using them.

Plans for the work-day:
Get campus ID so I can start working out again
Develop photographs
Sing my little @*$^%!# heart out
Get desk in order
Go on coffee run

I like my desk here... I can see good, decent people walk past on the outside-sidewalk below. Will and Jamie just passed heading east.

Singing: "I'm a bad idea whose time has come."

I have this green plastic M&M velcroed to the top of my monitor. He's wearing a hat with antlers on it, while sporting a nike swoosh smile. He's nervous... must have been hunting season when they made the mold. The sun is still setting, if I close one eye , and position the sun behind him, he glows with a beautiful aura. He is my God... for the moment, anyway. It's comforting. I like him as such. My world is so simple!

Why are weekends always too short? How come I am never able to do those things I want most? Jared and I cleaned our old apartment most of the weekend and, because I have had to work today (Sunday), I missed out on our elderberry picking adventure. I guess we'll have to find some healthy plants next weekend. My only worry is that it is too late in the year, and all berries have either been eaten by hungry deer, or black bear and/or have gone past ripe and into spoiled. Well, my time is running short... must close the library, run home to eat food and pass out. oh, yea... passing out.