kazatasupa

words fail me.

i couldn't write my music term paper... so i skipped the final. trumped by a funk.

writing in livejournal has also become laborious. this is a strange place, really... not depression, or boredom, but a definite lack of joy. i simply don't care about much anymore. i'm going to sabotage everything i've worked for the past four years... the idea makes me smile.

i'm looking forward to vacation in three weeks. there are a few things i am looking forward to while in burney. i should call andy to see if he wants to spend some time in bridgeport with my brother and i. it's been a long time since last hearing his voice.

i can't wait to photograph bears.

i need a nap.

Working until 11. I've made numerous trips to the coffee shop. Hav is working this evening and is apparently suffering from spiritual poverty. I guess that's going around these days....

I spent this morning doing laundry while sitting on my balcony. The sun was warm, I lifted my long shorts up mid-thigh, and let radiant heat warm much of my naked skin. While soaking in the wonderful weather, I read Kerouac's "Subterraneans" and slowly consumed a can of Milwaukee's Best Ice (cheap beer for a cheap man).

I've found a good place and am feeling fine. I almost feel like dancing...

My mother has forced my hand in summertime vacation plans. I guess I am driving out to the Sierra Nevada's for a family camping trip in July. I requested the time off already, and will actually get there a few days before everyone else. I like the idea of a solitary (next to all the other campers, of course) period... I'll probably drink heavily and let the mid-night noise bring bear-phobia into my tent.

I was able to spend quite a bit of time with Ryn yesterday... I'm okay, I'm okay with things as they are, and as they will be. I'm okay.

I really enjoy her company.