go to bed

Aug. 26th, 2002 12:19 am
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
i'm going already.

Gottlob Frege. I've only read part of the introduction to his 24 page essay and my mind has swallowed itself. And, it isn't that difficult - but the words and definitions set up to help put language into a logical context is too much... i'm sitting with two dictionaries on my lap trying to understand words when meanings are too ambiguous within the context of the text for me to understand exactly what is going on.

Why the fuck am I losing sleep over this? Do I really want need a degree?

I don't even like philosophy in the academic world - it's too stuffy.

Alright - there's my complaint. Now, to the shower and then back to the book.

Arggg.g...g...g.g.ggg
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
School:

I did something funny... 24 credit hours short of graduating with a B.A., I started taking freshmen level classes. I've removed myself from the philosophy department (which I still hold dear) and have moved towards expressing myself through art, not words.

Two things:
I'm guitarded and I am super self-conscious when it comes to the critique of my photo/darkroom work. My instructor asked me to comment on my piece before the class discussed it. I said, "well, I'd just like everyone to know that I'm a fraud..."

That's how I feel. I like my work more than that of any other student in the class, but I feel like it's coming too easy... I guess I need to push myself, but then I fear that the joy I've felt in the darkroom will be replaced by general nervousness and utter contempt for anything that has to do with photography.

"Why do you think you're a fraud," she asked as the other students laughed at my statement. "Because," I said, "I didn't think my way through the piece well enough." I can do better. I can do better....

I can always do better.

I don't want to lose this feeling of mystery. Of being in love with the process... The process is all I have left. It means everything...

The process of living.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Bombed my Ancient and Medieval philosophy exam. I really need to start studying... or, at least reading the text... even showing up for class on a regular basis would be an improvement.

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