kazatasupa

almost moved in...

broke back, arms i can barely lift, but the spirit is still strong. woke at 7 am, moved bed and a few items, then went for coffee. sitting in front of the coffee shop was a beautiful girl with long, black hair and glowing smile but spoke of financial woes as she had just spent her last bit of money on an artist who needed cash to cover rent. sell plasma, borrow money on the title of her car, become hari krishna - scattered soul, i think i love her.

spent the rest of the morning moving large, heavy things around, down the stairs and over to the house.

at ten till two, as i ran down the stairs, late for work, the landlady stopped me, "i need you out within the hour."

eh heh.

i'm going to work. sorry -

so, i still have big shit to move. fortunately, i don't have to do it alone. my just-ex roommate will help me move that stuff out. and, i have plenty of little things all over. then, must clean....

will it ever end?

money might grow on trees... i see it everywhere, like an oasis - only i live in a desert and am left longing for more. i'm looking for a studio apartment (enough of this jumbled fucking neurotic mess that i've become - i'm not fleeing, i'm not falling apart, i'm not giving up on what i've worked so hard to attain - i'm pretty fucking solid today, and tomorrow). i have an appointment to see one on the hill tomorrow morning. $900 to move in - if i like it, and they like me. i'm $200 short, but am in the process of asking my bank for a helping hand. they'll probably deny that aide, as my credit took a bounce late last year when i forgot to pay a credit card bill and fell into a hole i couldn't work myself out of until april. i need a studio. i need my space to belong to me - i can't share it anymore... my sanity depends on it.

vacation coming saturday. i'm flying from salt lake city to san francisco to redding (still california). my mother is going to leave a wedding to pick me up, drop me off at kinkos - where my brother will be waiting to take me around town - then she'll return to the reception.

i'm going to spend part of the week with marie. i'd also like to visit the pioneer museum in fall river... and, put a lawn chair into the creek while sipping beer for an afternoon...

the following week will be spent with family and friends in the sierra nevada.

lord, do i need this vacation.