kazatasupa

Restless... I left my Fender Jazzmaster under my desk. I think this is why I'm back at work. The Lakers won, but that didn't settle anything for me... I'm unhappy. No, I'm angry. It's not a loud, or physical anger, but the kind that makes me squint my eyes while a fire burns in my gut. It's been a long time since I've felt okay. Months, perhaps longer... and now I'm angry. Maybe this is good... maybe it's a starting point rather than a resting point. I'm a good person who deserves better. And, I'm angry that I don't have better... I'm angry at myself and I'm angry at the people around me. I'm angry.

And, I'm laughing at the absurd redundancy here. Angry, angry, angry... God, I feel so much better.

I said once that I don't get angry. Well, I do now... and it feels better. I feel better angry... fucking weird. Maybe this is a place where I can deal with some things... I don't know.