(no subject)

[kazatasupa]

I hate e-mail.
I hate easter.
I hate cleaning toilets
I hate hanging out at work on my days off.

I love writing e-mail.
I have fond child-hood memories of easter
I like having a clean toilet
Work is the only place I can get away... (we're closed today).

I just called my mother. She and my pops are eating breakfast in a campground with my Uncle Chris and Aunt Mary. I'm sitting at a computer in a dark, empty library - alone.

I was looking at my phone record last night... I've only had three phone calls in a week, one of which was a return call. Ryn called once to tell me that she was still sick, and that she wouldn't be able to cover my circulation shift. I haven't seen many people this week, but that might be due mostly to my hiding... still, it would be nice to get a call, or e-mail every once in a while.

Ahh... a pity-me party! I've become super analytical of the relationships in my life lately. And, have come to the realization that maybe... just maybe, I don't have much to offer others. I really enjoy being me, but maybe others don't enjoy me quite that much.

Ah, it's a stupid world anyway (cynicism: solving real problems).

Comments

[marekind.livejournal.com]

here's on of those classic "hang in there" replies. I don't know you, but you seem to be having hard times. . . I can't honestly say that things will ever get better. But hopefully they will.

Take it easy, man.

[kazatasupa.livejournal.com]

thanks...
i'm not sure i'm in a bad place, really. but, i am feeling almost manic - up and down. i've had trouble creating energy for anything other than drinking coffee. god, i love coffee. i'm just in a state of thinking where the only things that sound good and enlightening are unreachable (love and playing the sax like coltrane). i tried to play guitar last night, but lost interest rather quickly. it's funny, but i'll write a journal entry without realizing how sad it sounds until i go back and read it later...
it's just life..
thanks, though.

[sivvy.livejournal.com]

Might I make a suggestion?
Pick up a copy of "Living, Loving and Learning" by Leo Buscaglia
Not one of those self-help books or anything. It is actually mostly about bringing love into the classroom as an educator. But well worth the read.