selfish

[kazatasupa]

i don't want to be selfish. this, right now, is her best option.

it's my absolute worst.

but, it's better this way. i think i fucked up. i'm really confused.

i'm sorry. i'm not going to write here for a long while.

Comments

[sivvy.livejournal.com]

*hug*
Try to be gentle with yourself.
Perhaps this will give you the time to become the man you want to be... the man she deserves.
Being aware of your needs and wants doesn't make you selfish.
If you fucked up. Fix it.
Hang in there.

[kazatasupa.livejournal.com]

ah, siv... i fucked up by not having god in my life. it's something i've struggled with since i was a child. i simply don't feel god, never have... and have always wanted to.

there may be other things too. i don't know. i know she loves me... i just can't be with her. it always comes down to god in my life.

thank you, so very much for the cyber-hug.

[sivvy.livejournal.com]

I spent many years in a similar place...bereft

There are many platitudes... none of them helped me.

If hearing my story might help you, I am more than willing to talk with you. But know this... God is real. He is there.

Love... this remindes me of a line from Les Miserable.. "To love another person is to see the face of God."