(no subject)

[kazatasupa]

pacified - i'm stoned (not high, but numb). i can't feel beauty anymore. i've been drinking too much... trying to feel beauty again and i can not dream at night. i wondered, today as i wanted to piss on the world, if i've only been fooling myself; painting broken smiles? have i only had a bad day, or am i blowing smoke on shattered mirrors?

why do people hurt me so much? and, why can't i be simon's rock? why am i not an island (if only for tonight)?