Dec. 26th, 2001

kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
A strange day.

I made myself drunk over dinner (or was that lunch?), slept it off... went out with Chata, argued all evening and am now back at my parents house. Alone.

People disappoint me. Sometimes they're just not thoughtful. Other times, they just don't care... and I have a hard time differentiating between the two. I spent a good portion of my "drunk" time being upset with people... What a wonderful Christmas, eh?

Ah... Bah humbug!

I think it is too much to ask of people to sacrifice (if only a little). I've learned to be patient, and try to understand different perspectives. I am sensitive and take great care not to step on toes, or hurt others... I really would only ask that others do the same. But I can't. I'm alone in this world, and there really is no need to be sorrowful about it. "War is hell," my father is fond of saying...

"Celebrate this, asshole...."

I love life. And, the statement above was not directed at my father. It was directed at everyone, even myself...

I would never ask of anyone to appreciate those things I hold dear... I can only dream that there are people out there who do. My experience tells me that there are not.

I'm glad that I know some amazing people. They help keep me centered... I would quickly go insane without my friends. I would lose all stability without my family... I am not stable alone.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Washing my dark clothes...

Trying to get in contact with my roommate, who has no phone. I hope he finds time to check his email. I'd hate to hike home from the airport...

Marie is coming to see me this morning. I think her boyfriend will be in tow, which is okay...

Conclusion

Dec. 26th, 2001 11:38 pm
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
The end is near. Soon I will be back in Utah and this visit will be a memory.

I saw Marie today...

The Marie...

She is how I know I'm fucked up.

She is the one I should have taken a chance with. Instead, I took a chance with Nicole... and suffered a terrible death.

I've always been a little late.

We ate dinner at the Dragon Palace, and was rewarded with a fortune cookie.

Fortune:
Be Direct. Usually one can accomplish more that way.

Marie, "Keep that... you need it."

I'm transparent.

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