kazatasupa: (Default)
We're experiencing a nice break in the weather today. It's sunny and warm enough to do yard work in a t-shirt. I cleared the remaining limbs from the tree-work I did on my property a couple of weeks ago and was getting ready to take my mountain bike for a spin, but was called into work instead...

It's supposed to storm again for the next five days. All of the work I've put into getting back into shape is slipping away from me with this late-winter surge of moisture. I've lost nearly 22 pounds and had been gaining strength and endurance on my bike, but every day I miss due to work/weather is dragging me down. It's been a frustrating week and a half.

I just got a call. I've got to drive an hour south for work. *sigh*
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
my boss would like me to start a major digitizing project with our special collections. this would mean a lot of equipment, training, and time. might be something i'd enjoy doing...

as it is now, i can't stop listening to with love

(mp3 download, not streamlined)
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
stress has gotten to me.

i can't do school and work full time anymore. i've missed class this week, trying to get completely caught up in work so i can help out at the circ desk and with training... now, i might be too far behind...

i can't do it. what the fuck was i thinking?

work

Aug. 22nd, 2002 11:34 pm
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
sometimes you just know when a new employee is going to try your patience... every single freaking moment of your entire immediate future of existence in this tiny little place called work.

:::deep breathing:::

i need a beer.
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
i'm on vacation. the chamber of commerce president needed her office painted, so i agreed on the condition that i be supplied with a cd player and beer. as those demands were met, i began to apply paint. a few beers down, and my method changed drastically... thus my removal from the job. thankfully, my mother is the chamber predident, and i may find more work for beer later.

now, i'm waiting for my 83 year old grandmother. i'm taking her to dinner this evening, and in an effort to maintain stability, will be drinking more beer.

there's trouble brewing....

working

Jul. 11th, 2002 09:44 pm
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
at work. not working...

well, i am working the circulation desk, but it is so impossibly slow that i'm actually passing gas without concern for the welfare of others (or my dignity).

i have many things i need to get done before i leave tomorrow afternoon (two weeks away from this pit - woo! woo woo!!) however, i can't get back to my desk to finish them. it is terribly difficult to work for a institution that is severly understaffed.

i guess i'll do those things tomorrow... in the meantime, passing gas to pass the time...

work

Apr. 25th, 2002 11:27 am
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
this is the last place i want to be. i'd prefer a heavy rock... i just want to hide.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
i closed last night for ryn, who was sick, and keep thinking that today is friday (i close thursdays). i've been excited all day long about the prospects of my two days off... and it's only tuesday!!!

damn it, damn it, son of a bitch.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Work keeps piling up on my desk. I'll have to do it in the morning, I suppose. I'm having such a difficult time wanting to do anything that I almost find satisfaction in not doing work. Yes, yes... I am satisfied with nothing done.

:::leans back, hands behind head, smiling:::
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Staying in Utah, getting a studio (or one bedroom apartment), living alone, continue working at the library, complete my degree in Integrated Studies (keeping Philosophy as a emphasis and use Music Theory as another. This would mean learning something entirely new and exciting. I will take guitar lessons and learn to play the saxophone), become completely anti-social and work... work... work.

I just feel like turning inward, tuning people out...

I'm also thinking about applying for a job at the coffee shop (they're hiring). I could only work part-time, but it would be valuable experience, as I do plan on owning a coffee house someday.

That's it. I'm not happy as things are now... and, if I don't change, if I don't change...

I'm just getting more depressed.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Hmmm... could I do less work??

Supposed to show epix-tech people how electronic reserve works...

"mmm... so, i scan stuff and put it here..."

"this is your brain"

"this is your brain when you scan stuff for a living..."

"any questions?"
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Strange day, today is...

No coffee in my system, today or yesterday. This morning I woke bright eyed and energetic - six times (snooze button). I didn't want to come into work... still don't want to be here, and can't imagine the day to bring much more. I want to be doing something else, but what? I'm not sure... but, I'll think about it.

I don't know what to do in my spare time. I'm not drinking coffee for the month (and the odds are...) and, so the coffee shop becomes less practical. I cleaned the toilet last night, did the dishes and watched some show on t.v. Jared asked me why I thought I could be such an asshole... I simply stated that I wasn't aware that I had been an asshole. Oh, well... I've been cranky from this stupid sore throat/fever thing, but an asshole? Ryn wasn't feeling well, so she didn't stop by after work and I tried to get some sleep... but, just laid there and a large portion of the night was spent tossing and turning.

Plans for the week:
Thursday night - Valentine Dinner
Friday Night - Rice/Eccles stadium for the Olympic's opening ceremony
Saturday Night - Claudine's play

Now, I've got to re-boot this computer, start scanning stuff and think about my future... think, think, think.

Hell

Jan. 17th, 2002 10:30 pm
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
I'm in hell...

Well, not really. I mean, this could be worse. Actually, I am in a pretty damn good mood. I couldn't get enough done, and had to train a new employee, so I am expecting professors to come swearing tomorrow morning. I wish people could understand that it takes time to photo-copy, crop, scan, crop, edit html, post and check for errors...

Today has really been good to me, otherwise... I slept in. I drank coffee over a nice conversation. I watched little boys hold hands as they skipped through the snow. I did laundry and ran important errands...

Now... Now... I'm longing for whip-cream and cherries.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Sat here all day yesterday, scanning documents and dreaming... went home, sat on the couch for hours chatting with Jared... slept for three and 1/2 hours, now I'm back in this chair readying myself for the creation of more blasted .pdf files. My legs are going to quit working if I don't start using them.

Plans for the work-day:
Get campus ID so I can start working out again
Develop photographs
Sing my little @*$^%!# heart out
Get desk in order
Go on coffee run

I like my desk here... I can see good, decent people walk past on the outside-sidewalk below. Will and Jamie just passed heading east.

Singing: "I'm a bad idea whose time has come."
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Parting Thoughts...

I hate being bored and alone. This, and the knowledge that I have a ton of shit to do at work, brought me here. I told Price that I would have his 3500 class posted today and forgot to post it when I was in earlier. Boredom, loneliness and knowing that I had unfinished business... He could have waited until tomorrow, I'm sure. Well, I'm here... it's posted and I now need something else to do. I brought my laptop and downloaded a dreamweaver extension for making online tests... I guess I'll go to the coffee shop and play around with that for a while. Maybe I'll run into someone there... maybe I'll actually do something social tonight.

Am I bitching?

Yes. I need to go snowshoeing.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
I have this green plastic M&M velcroed to the top of my monitor. He's wearing a hat with antlers on it, while sporting a nike swoosh smile. He's nervous... must have been hunting season when they made the mold. The sun is still setting, if I close one eye , and position the sun behind him, he glows with a beautiful aura. He is my God... for the moment, anyway. It's comforting. I like him as such. My world is so simple!
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
I need to move the partition wall that blocks my view of Utah Lake. Maybe even move my desk around so that I can see out over the lake and gaze upon the mountains (this way I can daydream while looking out, over the valley and still appear to be working).... It is a beautiful day... raining lightly, contrasting white to dark grey clouds. I love fall turning into winter. The only problem being that, this time of year, the sun sets right through the window and the glare is unbearable. I think I am willing to put up with it. Yes, I think I am. One thing is for certain... Utah is a beautiful place.

I'm feeling Christmas. I do love this time of year.

Too Short

Sep. 23rd, 2001 06:39 pm
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Why are weekends always too short? How come I am never able to do those things I want most? Jared and I cleaned our old apartment most of the weekend and, because I have had to work today (Sunday), I missed out on our elderberry picking adventure. I guess we'll have to find some healthy plants next weekend. My only worry is that it is too late in the year, and all berries have either been eaten by hungry deer, or black bear and/or have gone past ripe and into spoiled. Well, my time is running short... must close the library, run home to eat food and pass out. oh, yea... passing out.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
My fingers are bleeding. I've found too many interesting pots to dig my fragile nails into: School, work (two jobs: one full time, and another that wants my full time), philosophy club, ethics panel discussion group, a beautiful girl, ethics bowl team (hasn't started yet, thank god). I've been in the library (my work) for the last 39 days straight. I put two 20 hour days in last week, and numerous 16-18 hour days in the last month. I am tired and need to simplify my life. Note to self: prioritize. Beautiful girl, school, and work... get outside. Find room to breathe, to dream, to give your love away. Give your love away.

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