And...

Mar. 22nd, 2017 04:40 pm
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
I resumed making public old posts.  I have made it through April 5th, 2002.

I found this gem in a post from April 2nd of that year: "Sometimes, I still believe that I'm the smartest person in the world. Then, after six beers I find myself walking home from Jason's house with my coat on inside out. Fuck."

There's so much I miss about that era.  The apartment Jared and I shared and how close it was to Jason, Allen, Chris and Jane.  How it was within walking distance of Juice N Java and ABG's.  How Marko and Jeanee weren't much further.  How Havalah, Megan and Allen lived across the street from the Fagg's in a house they fondly referred to as "The Hud."  How The Hud had the tiniest hot tub in the world and we would play truth or dare while smashing five, or six bodies into it.

There were certainly difficult times for me too.  But damn if I don't miss those days.  I do.
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
I have a test this morning, but am not prepared. I don't feel like studying, either... I'm at work, anyhow. It's pointless. I sat on grass at The Hud (Megan, Havalah, and Al's little house) with notes in hand, trying to study, but more intersted in the path and the sun. My mind wanders, and where it goes... I suppose that's where I'd rather be.

I've settled (perhaps only temporarily) into loathing the self-indulgent shallowness inherent in being human. And, I'm terrified of remaining alone. However, yesterday, behind the mountains... ascending (then descending) steep trails in my sandals, I felt more at home by myself than I would have had someone been with me. I took off my shirt and stood, looking down at myself in fine appreciation of a beautiful farmers tan. Sun reflected off pasty white skin and pink man-nipples.

I felt good...

And this morning, I feel much better.

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