kazatasupa: (fatherson)
Taken by Jocelin, who used different items (plastic wrap, nylons, etc.) as filters. She had them made into slides and I scanned them into my computer.

Go Here )
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
slide taken by my friend, jocelin. i think she is a wonderfully talented photographer, and even better person.
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
Cold.

Slept with the box fan, against the open window, on and pointed directly at me. Woke at 7, didn't want to get out from under my warm comforter... and could see my breath rise in front of me. It was a cold 50 degrees this morning.

Wore pants and my winter jacket for the ride to work. Stopped at the car wash to vacuum six inches of water out of my little red jeep. If today is clear and warm (to dry out the still damp floors) I will winterize my vehicle, by putting the top back on, this evening. This evening I will be video taping my cousin's hockey practice (he plays goalie for the byu team)... winter is right around the corner.

Jocelin and I are listening Christmas music in the office. Claudine has heard that snow should be in the mountains by the end of the week. I know it's early, but after a long, hot and dry summer, I am ready for all the rain/snow/bad ass weather we can get.

A winter picture )
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
3 minutes late for work (long line at the coffee shop followed by a shifty maneuver to avoid provo's finest - jeep unregistered - put me behind schedule). a. wasn't here (still isn't), and she's been the person opening the library/circ desk all week. j. and l. are late too...

the director was pulling into the library just as i was, but i have this feeling... i've got a feeling...

k. (my boss) is going to have a word with me.

35 minutes into my workday and i'm in trouble, all alone.

i also need to use the freaking restroom...

help. help.

swagger

Jun. 3rd, 2002 04:50 pm
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
it's strange, but i spent the entire day extremely pissed off at the world, broke into an hour long rant as joc patiently listened and, now, i feel good.

i feel better than i have since black saturday (the day ryn told me she wouldn't be seeing me anymore). i know this is only a moment... but it is a moment, and that's the most important thing.

i feel good. i feel good.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
Hmmm... thinking about applying for financial aide. I need to talk to an advisor first, make sure that I can do the things I want to do. I think it would be a lot of fun, and extremely interesting, to get a degree in Music and Philosophy. I would have to re-take Aesthetics (at least audit the class) when I am ready to write my senior thesis.

I'm also interested in finding out if there is anyway to make payments on a course fee. Individual instruction for an instrument (in this case the guitar - I want to buy a sax in the fall) is $180, and I can't afford that in one payment.

I'm thinking about the Introduction to Music class. I have zero knowledge in music theory... and figure that an intro course (even though it doesn't apply to any degree) would be good testing ground... to see if I can take school seriously again.

I'd need one other class, as well... just to push me over 6 credit hours. Joc wants me to take a photography class with her, but it's too condensed... five days a week, two hours a day. I'd have to make up that time somewhere, and if I get a second job (I need to pay some bills off) I'll run out of time.

What to do?? What to do??
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
I'm feeling grungy. I showered last night, so I didn't think I would miss a shower this morning. I'm down to my last pair of socks, and am wearing my UVSC Library shirt with my army green pants and big hiking boots. I did wear my favorite knit hat this morning... hmmm.. clothes.

I ate the last of my food yesterday (four bean and cheese burritos) and am feeling fat. How's that? No breakfast, a bit of nasty coffee (I've finally been forced to drink the pre-packaged ground coffee that the director of the library brought me for christmas -ugh!), and I feel fat. Whatever.

I'm dehydrated... should fill my water bottle and drink.

I'm tired as hell... couldn't sleep well last night.

I've been listening to David Rothenberg's "Sudden Music" Cd. It comes in the back sleeve of his book. The track I'm listening to is a recording of David playing his flute in a bird sanctuary... as the birds sing back to him. Beautiful. I want to play flute too.

I had to take time this morning to visit Joc in the art building. She and her classmates took pictures of my nasty-ass (figuratively - my ass stayed in my pants), while they played with light and shutter speed. And, despite feeling fat, bloated, stinky and ugly... I feel beautiful.

I spent a lot of time playing basket ball by myself when I was a teen. East Burney Elememtry School black top hosted a number of NBA championship games. I almost always led the Lakers to the title against Bird, and his Celtics. I was the best basketball player in the world back then.

At an even younger age, I owned a gourmet mud-pie restaurant.. where the best damned mud-pies in the world were cooked on the pavement in front of my parent's house.

So, I'm beautiful, I've led the Lakers to many black-top championships, and cooked a damned good mud-pie. I'm very comfortable living inside of my skin... I am confidently me.

Fat, bloated, stinky and ugly...

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