kazatasupa: (Default)
chris and jane, little fin, [livejournal.com profile] biloba and myself wandered the east side beach of utah lake this evening as the sun set. fin rode to and from on my lap...

i'lli have pictures that i'll post sometime next week.
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
music moves so fluidly through my head. i can breathe to it. it makes me whole. i am good.

it's good to be here, now. and, i am soon to be leaving work for chris and jane's where we will make wine from grapes and brew beer while singing to a song and dance. it will be good there, too.

i gave blood to the doctors today. i don't know what to think about my little kidneys... i'm not even sure i should think about them. it would be selfish to dwell on my mortality for too long, wouldn't it?

and, it could be all for nothing. i could be fine (fine as i could be).

i am fine. life is good.
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
last night i watched the sun set over west mountain from the sandy beaches of utah lake. little fin and i walked the beach, collecting clam and snail shells. jason ran out onto the lake, one hundred yards and only ankle deep. jane would drop scientific names on plants and fish, and chris told me how there were 22 different native mussels in utah lake before the mormon settlers and now there are none.

i read once that the native americans would fish the lake with nets, pulling thousands out - feeding their own.

as i turned my head in a survey of the surrounding valley, i couldn't help but notice the dyke on which the road that carried us to the lake was concealing every city from lehi to payson. and, as i stood there in awe of the mountains glowing from the setting sun, i felt connected to past existence. not my own, but one that belonged to people two hundred years ago. a raw, unforgiving existence which would expose the weak as such.

we had to leave shortly after the sun set as the cold wind pushing across the lake set into our bones only to reveal the nature of our present existence. driving quickly into town, jason and i stopped at the coffee shop for cappuccinos, on the way to scott abbott's for a philosophy department party.

ice cooled indian pale ales, coronas, wines, fine scotch and a few olympias in a warm house with local intellectuals.

the worried news is the coming of a new president at the school. the fear is that the regents will hire a non-academic to quiet the liberal arts crowd. people are divided on the possibilities. i believe the school has taken far too many steps towards the liberal arts to be neglected. every thing is going to be alright...

if it ever was.

thank god for warm houses, warm people and cool beers. we have it so easy.

i'm going to throw my shoes on now and take a walk around the block. it's almost time to call it a night, but i have some steam to burn and the evening temperature is too nice to let go unfelt.
kazatasupa: (fatherson)
sat on the porch, drank a 40 of Miller Genuine Draft (otherwise known as really bad beer), and played guitar for 40 minutes, or so. yes, i think i'll like my stay here. [livejournal.com profile] biloba is out back with chris, cutting his book shelf in half. i'm listening to temple of the dog, and thinking about how simple and focused things have become. life is not very complicated.

my head is screwed on tight.

jason is out with his son, having italian food somewhere provo.

i'm going to offer the fella's a couple wasatch pale ales.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
just got an e-mail from Chris. it is his art show, but he is still in ohio.... i guess that means he will not be there... maybe i'll be the only one who shows... too tired to go alone.


Jan. 4th, 2002 08:44 am
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
This is my life:

I scan stuff, create .pdf files for angry professors (not all of whom are truly angry), and (sometimes) check books out to people. I do other things as well, but not often. Mostly, I scan stuff. Yesterday, I scanned for 17 hours. I got home around midnight, went to bed exhausted and laid there, wide awake... thinking, thinking, thinking. So, I got out of bed and sat on the couch for a while... went back to bed, and finally fell asleep.

I had one of those "can't see" mornings, where everything is blurry and my depth perception was distorted. I took a shower standing in the toilet (okay, that's a joke), and brushed my teeth with a....

So, as the morning goes:

Four shots of espresso in my 20 ounce cup of coffee. I'm still not awake. Hopefully, I will be caught up with everything early this afternoon. L. is closing for me, so I can go see Chris's art showing. I haven't seen Chris in over a year. He's going to graduate school somewhere back east. I'm sure I'll see others there too. There is a tight group of really neat people... I miss them.
kazatasupa: (burney mountain)
I feel great this morning. A rarity, indeed... it's so refreshing. I woke early so I could walk for coffee. Candice and Ryan were working (I guess they always work Monday mornings). Chief was there... sitting in the corner, drinking his coffee. I like him, even though we have only had small, passing conversations (on forming a drinking olympics for drunks). Chris and his son, Phen (spelling), were there too. I like running into familiar faces. It's comforting sometimes, like this morning. As I was walking back to my apartment, my roommate (who was driving to get coffee on his way to work) pulled to the side of the road. "Don't you have to work at eight?" "Yea," I replied. "So, you walk to get coffee... then walk back home to drive to work?" I just looked at him. He shrugged his shoulders, commented on how weird it seemed to him and drove off. I'M TIRED OF BEING A LAZY ASSHOLE! Of course I didn't say a thing to him... it's really none of his business. I like walking. It's a little thing, but it does help me put life into perspective. Slow down... slow down. I'm small and that makes me happy.


kazatasupa: (Default)

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